Friday, July 29, 2011

Car Camping: algorithmic analysis!

algorithmic analysis of camping trip:

Main criteria: is our 6yr old ready to camp? Yes...

- Slept like a log in the tent
- got familiar with the equipment
- loved being outdoors
- traveled well
- hiked over 5km in a day with plenty of energy
- handled 2 hour boat trip on Georgian Bay with no side effects

Is car camping an option now? No...

- trailer park motive not conducive to communing with nature;
- Listening to competing car radios in the wilderness = sucks
- Listening to sugar addled children freaking out at midnight because they apparently don't have a bedtime = sucks
- direct correlation between parental involvement and number of children they choose to have (more children = greater disinterest in actually parenting them)
- 3 or more untended children become a feral gang that is potentially cannibalistic (multiply possibility in direct proportion to the amount of sugar they are consuming. Children who administer their own sugar input = high likely hood of insanity)
- Listening to car alarms going off all night (why do you have your #*$&ing alarm set you jackass? You're SLEEPING NEXT TO IT!!!)
- Similar to being a refugee, but your neighbors are sugar addled idiots with SUVs, cheap beer and clouds of pot instead of quiet and starving, so worse that being a refugee.
- the hyena like laughter/bark of teenage girls trying to attract the attention of a mating partner made me feel like I was in some kind of bizarre human zoo exhibit.
- the garbage found thrown to the side of every trail we hiked reminds of how entitled and self absorbed are a significant portion of human population.
- praying for a thunderstorm so the hairless apes will turn off their electronics and go the f*** to sleep.

Future plan 1: partial outbound trip to a canoe-in camp site with no immediate neighbors.

Future plan 2: deep woods canoe/portage doing a circuit in Algonquin. Goal: see no hairless apes.

Silence is golden, you won't get much gold car camping.